well oiled

It is not always easy approaching a couple of guys to talk to them about the women in their lives (of which at this stage I have seen none). So I do a pathetic round up of why I am there.

‘So lads, it has been a week can you believe that?’

‘Very much so to be honest mate, I actually thought it was longer’. Bloody hell, Bertie is in a mood again. Maybe arranging to meet them at a local fast food chain early on a Sunday morning was a bad idea. Well the Sunday morning bit.

‘I will have a breakfast, a muffin and what ever looks like it could pass as an afters. And a straw no van no choc no yeah a vanilla milkshake. And a coffee of course. You are paying for this aren’t you?’ I agreed with a nod and took Skinny Boy’s more meagre order of two sausage buns. It was only when I got to the queue did I notice them laughing and clicked that they don’t do “Sausage buns” so I returned.

‘Yeah so when we worked in the factory Skinny would always order two sausage buns from the canteen. He then decides to have a change and spends the next few moments changing his mind between varieties of deep fried wonders. He gets to the front of the queue and panics and orders the same two sausage buns. But the thing is he does this every Friday’. I felt that was one of those “you had to be there” moments but forced a polite laugh all the same.

‘Anyway…where’s me food chore?’ I got up and returned to the queue to get a sausage muffin. And a coffee. And a Capri Sun drink if they have one? Another wind up I think.

Whilst I stood in the queue I took the time to watch the two interact. There are like a well oiled machine. They finish each others sentences and appear to laugh two or three punch lines ahead of anyone else who dare even attempt to follow their humorous monologues or stabs at life as it spins around them. I do notice that satire is not one of their strongest points. However, I put this down to Bertie’s “politics is bollocks” political belief. This does not hinder their seamless connection like two great minds locked in a genius soaked cranium. Then it hits me. I think I have discovered why they work so well together, why there are no women in their life and why…

‘Can I take your order mate?’ sod it, I will have to come back to this…