bertie's brain oil

I thought it was going to be difficult asking mONKEYs fOREHEAd about the women in their lives, but that would have been so much easier that approaching their personal relationship together. So to lighten the mood and making following this line of enquires that bit easier I decided to use Bertie’s Brain Oil or alcohol as it is better known.

Unsurprising it was quite easy getting them to the pub. The prospect of free lager, free smokes, a free BLT and a lift and I felt I could get them to say almost anything and before I could get my cars keys out of my pocket we were at the pub. Well not literally but it was pretty damn quick.

I took them to their local and watched from the bar as they once again seamless worked together to rearrange their corner by moving tables and chairs as another collected the beer mats, moving the chairs as the other collected a clean ash tray. And in unison they took of their coats, sat down, stood up again to take out their mobile phones and cigarettes and then sat down again. Once the ritual was completed they both looked over at me to check on the progress of the lager. Due to their regularity the bar maid had already seen them walk in and pulled two pints of Bertie’s Brain Oil and was waiting for my order. I thought that if I just bought orange juice then I would get some stick of Bertie so I went with a beer shandy on the hope he wouldn’t notice. I walked over and joined them at the table.

‘About time’ said a grateful Bertie as he took the pint and downed half. ‘Enjoy yer shandy yer puff’ he added. What was I thinking, I was never going to fool him when it came to beer.

The afternoon slowly warmed up as they reminisced of the good times and reminisced of the better times. I noticed that there was never a mention of sad times. The fuel that powered mONKEYs fOREHEAd was not Bertie’s Brain Oil but a positive friendship. A friendship that appeared to increase with every interaction. One that had an abundance of positivity that was enough to power the band even when they were apart. Whenever the two met the upbeat nature always increased and fed into those around them. Well, those that could keep up with the humour. So I took my moment and asked.

‘What is the relationship between you guys, you know, behind closed doors?’ Bertie paused and looked at me.

‘What do you mean? Are we gay?’ asked Bertie. Now this surprised me as for some reason I was expecting quite a defensive reaction.

‘Not that there’s anything wrong with that’ added Skinny Boy.

‘No we’re not’ they replied in unison and than for the next 5 minutes sat in silence drinking their pints’. I hjad soured the mood. This was not looking good. I need to do something, and fast.

‘Anyone fancy a BLT?’ I asked. And up the mood went. As I walked to the bar to place the order I couldn’t help feeling I had touched a nerve. I need to get the interview back on track, but asking personal questions was not going to be the way. To be honest, I think I need to do a bit more fishing about their relationship together but I will have to bide my time.