I had spent most of the day engrossed in puerile television with channels determined by whoever could be bothered to pick up the remote control. One film would seamlessly blend into the news, which would seamlessly blend into the next film. This I only later realised following confusion as to why James Bond had defeated another world dominator and saw it fit to break into my local school and then turn green and live in a swamp.
Occasionally somebody would arise and make their way to the toilet to expel a mixture of partly digested booze and bile. Occasionally somebody would arise to feast on left over buffet food and then make their way to the toilet to expel a mixture of partly digested booze and bile.
I soon realised that I could not continue this party lifestyle for much longer. I had my own commitments and deadlines to meet. I had a loving family at home. I had the loving and supporting wife who would understand when I needed to stay over at parties. Today was New Years Day. Time I should spend with my family. However, as I sat here and looked around the room I started to feel that this was my family. I had bonded with a new accepting family that took me to their bosom. They accepted me without any humiliating initiation ceremony. I am becoming as one with mONKEYs fOREHEAd. I began to question if I could be the elusive third member and follow them around the world. I sat melting into the sofa whilst thumbing my ring. My wedding ring that is. I have hit my crossroads. Do I leave Bertie’s house, go home and write up my story? Do I go back to my wife and consider a new journalistic path or do I hit the road? Maybe it is time to think of a New Year’s resolution. Now why is that lady suggestively rubbing Shrek’s body? Hang on, it is the weather.
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