new years heave

The one thing that I found really annoyed Bertie was…well, I say one thing, there are a number of things that annoy him but the one thing that springs to mind right now is his utter detestation for paying for something that should usually be free. The classic example of this is the local pub that has the audacity to charge an entry fee to a place that is ordinarily free 364 days and 19 hours of the year. However, not when it is New Years Eve. It was due to this that Bertie was the advocator of the local till they charge then all round mine. So this we did.

I was suitably impressed with Bertie’s self-control for the early hours in that he impressively paced himself. The night was pretty much like any other only with a feasibly large amount of people standing around but I am jumping ahead.

It was of course a no-brainer that we would need get to the pub early to get the corner seat. I found it difficult to interview MF on the short walk to the pub as Bertie was clearly demonstrating the hastily paced walk of a man on a mission. A mission to get a chair at the same table that housed MF for the last number of uncountable years. But this time there was a challenger. A challenger in the increased numbers of New Years Eve revellers. This was the annual fight Bertie was prepared for. And with the timing of a fine Swiss timepiece, the mission was accomplished.

So the usual routine ensued. One to the bar, the others to the table to carry out any necessary adjustments to the layout that the non-locals just wouldn’t understand. Following this, the seating was sat on, the beer mats had beer glasses put on and the cigarettes and mobile phones were placed lovingly on the table. They had landed, again.

Once the pints were supped with perfect synchrony, the smoke tinged air sucked across teeth in appreciation and the pint glass parked perfectly central on the beer mat (something that I noticed was often adjusted with micro-precision) MF sat back in their seats and looked around the room. This is the precise moment the beer clear heads will speak rational thoughts and give clear opinions on those around them. Alternatively, as Bertie opened up “half these fuckers wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t New Years Eve”. At this point, I pulled out my notepad, clicked the nib out of its Parker shelter and prepared to start taking notes.